


Flights of Angels by babs

by babs



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 05:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babs/pseuds/babs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince,<br/>And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flights of Angels by babs

>Daniel waited while Carolyn finished reading the report. She closed the folder and looked up at him, her eyes reddened and her throat tight.

"I...I'm sorry doesn't seem the right thing to say." She took a tissue from the box and blew her nose.

"There's no reason to say anything," Daniel replied. He took a thick envelope from his jacket and slid it across her desk. "I've already spoken to General Landry and handed in my resignation." He glanced away and coughed slightly before looking at her again. His expression was one of resolve and determination. "These are my instructions for when, well, you know..." his voice trailed off and she watched as he closed his eyes and seemed to pull strength from some hidden part of his body. "There are letters for Sam and Teal'c, Mitchell and Vala, for my staff." His mouth twisted in what could have been a wry grin. "And for Jack." He stumbled on the name but then recovered and continued, "I've taken care of as much as possible. The others don't know why I'm leaving. I'm asking that you keep that information to yourself until everything is over."

"They're your friends, Daniel. Don't you think they have the right to know?" Carolyn leaned forward, clasping her hands over the papers. "To be there for you?"

"I don't want them to have to go through this. It's..." He raised a hand to rub his hair. "There's nothing that can be done. I've accepted that."

Carolyn nodded, although she felt her heart breaking just a little bit more. "I don't agree with your decision." She held up her hand when he opened his mouth. "But it's yours to make."

Daniel took off his glasses and covered his eyes with one hand. He said nothing and Carolyn waited for him to regain his composure.

"Thank you," he finally said. He stood up and held out a surprisingly steady hand. "For everything. I just wanted you to know-Janet would be proud of what you've done here."

It might have been the highest compliment she'd ever been paid from a man who had the least reason to thank her. "Thank you, Daniel," she replied and took his outstretched hand, the fingers chilled beneath hers. ""Godspeed." It was the only phrase she could think of that was anywhere close to appropriate.

He smiled and gave her a half wave as he walked out the door. She waited until he left the infirmary and then, when he was gone, closed her office door, bowed her head and wept.

*******************************************************  
"What do you mean you can't tell me where he is?" General O'Neill yelled.

"Doctor-patient confidentiality," Carolyn repeated. She drew herself to her full height and faced the general's wrath.

"Medical then. Something medical. Why isn't he being treated here or at the Academy?" he demanded.

Why weren't you here for him? Carolyn wanted to throw back at him. Why weren't any of you? He needed you. But Daniel had resisted and refused any contact with the others. Maybe she should have pushed more. Carolyn opened the folder Daniel had given her six weeks ago. The general's letter was on top of the pile of papers. She'd made a promise to Daniel, but the look of raw pain she saw in General O'Neill's eyes made her question everything.

Sam Carter was gone to Atlantis, Teal'c off with Master Bra'tac while Mitchell and Vala had been off-world for months. Daniel's diagnosis and subsequent prognosis had been swift and it was only now that he could no longer hide his condition that the general had become suspicious.

"Off on a dig and unable to be contacted, my ass," General O'Neill was saying which only confirmed her thoughts.

She'd read through the instructions Daniel left, and he'd placed General O'Neill in charge of all final arrangements, a deal that had evidently been made years ago. Along with that, she'd found his medical power of attorney, his documents listing O'Neill as next of kin and emergency contact. Nothing had been changed although she wondered if Daniel had meant to at some point considering his insistence that none of the others know about his condition.

"He's in California," Carolyn said as she handed the packet labeled for the general to him. "Prince of Peace Hospice-the address is on the envelope."

"Hospice?" the general asked, his voice gone to a whisper.

"Daniel has cancer, renal cell carcinoma, sir," Carolyn said, lowering her own voice. "He was diagnosed twelve weeks ago. It had already metastasized to his lymph nodes."

"He's getting treatment out there, right?" The desperation in the general's voice was painful to hear.

Carolyn shook her head, unable to speak for a moment. She swallowed hard. "Daniel opted to not undergo treatment."

"But why? Why wouldn't he..." He stood up and rammed his fist into her filing cabinet. "Damn it, Daniel."

"Sir, even with treatment, the survival rate once this particular cancer has spread beyond the kidney is less than five percent." She hesitated a moment. "Daniel wanted to live the time he has left-not spend it in a hospital being hooked up to machines."

"Dying. Daniel's dying." The general sounded lost and she watched as he took the papers into shaking hands. "He's not doing it alone."

*******  
Prince of Peace Hospice overlooked the ocean, a long low building that looked more like a house than any sort of institution. Jack wondered why Daniel had chosen this place to die. He would have guessed a desert but maybe since the loss of Abydos, deserts only brought sadness to his friend's heart.

The anger he'd felt at being left out of Daniel's decision had dissipated on the flight out and the subsequent drive to the hospice. This was here he needed to be-by his best friend's side through to the end whenever that might be.

Jack closed the door on his rental car and walked up the gravel path to the glass doors. He took a deep breath and entered the building, praying to a God he wasn't sure listened for the strength to do whatever he needed to do.

  
******

  
"You're Jack," the young nun said with a smile as he found his way to the wing where Daniel was. "Daniel told us that you'd show up." There was no censure in her words, only a quiet understanding.

"Am I allowed to see him?" Jack asked, terrified that Daniel in his stubbornness would have left orders that no one could visit.

"Of course," she said and stepped from behind the desk. "I think he's always known you would find him and come." They walked down a hallway, sounds of laughter coming from some of the rooms while from others there was music or talking.

The nun paused before the last door on the right. Closed, Jack noticed, unlike most of the others that had been open to the hall and to the outdoors. "Daniel lost his vision ten days ago."

"He's blind?"

"The cancer is throughout his body," she said softly. "He's been getting weaker since then."

Jack nodded and made his hand into a fist. The nun looked at him and waited until he nodded before opening the door.

The room was bright and the sliding doors leading to the small garden were open. Sunshine filled the room along with the smell of the ocean and flowers Jack couldn't name. The bed faced the doors and hid its occupant from Jack's view.

"Daniel?" the nun spoke softly as she approached the bed. "It's Sister Thomas. There's someone here to see you."

Jack caught his first glimpse of Daniel as he came up behind the sister. He felt his throat tighten, his eyes begin to burn as he looked at the man he loved in ways he would never be able to explain.

Daniel had lost weight and his hands where they rested on top of the well-worn quilt appeared bluish. "Who is it?"

"It's me," Jack said, ashamed that his voice cracked.

"Jack? Really you?" Daniel asked in a near whisper.

Sister Thomas stepped back and beckoned for Jack to take her place.

"Yeah, you know me, showing up like a bad penny." Jack leaned close and folded his fingers over Daniel's chilled ones.

"You," Daniel said again and lifted his other hand to touch Jack's face.

Jack closed his eyes as long fingers skimmed across his skin. He smiled as Daniel touched his lips and then opened his eyes to see Daniel's mouth turn up in a small smile too.

"I'm glad you came," Daniel said. His hand fell away from Jack's face and he closed his eyes.

"Me too," Jack whispered. There was no response from his friend and Jack looked at Sister Thomas.

"He sleeps a lot," she explained and then motioned for Jack to follow her from the room.

"How long?" Jack demanded when he closed the door to Daniel's room behind him.

"I don't know. None of us can predict that,." Sister Thomas folded her hands as if in prayer. "I'm sorry I can't tell you. But his body is shutting down, preparing for the end."

Jack nodded and made a fist. He went to hit the wall and then pulled the punch at the last minute. Daniel wouldn't need his anger-only his friendship, his love. He straightened and took a deep breath. "I...can I stay?"

"That's up to Daniel."

Jack leaned against the wall when his legs felt like they couldn't support him. He needed to call Landry-tell him to get Carter and Teal'c to the SGC and out here. They were family. They needed each other.

*****

Daniel hadn't objected to Jack's presence, for which Jack was immeasurably grateful. The days took on a dreamlike quality for Jack, each moment spent with his friend one to be treasured. When Daniel was awake, they talked. Not of past missions but simply of friendship, of quiet times they'd enjoyed, of barbecues at Jack's, of the time they'd taken Teal'c to an amusement park, of Jack's insistence that each date of Cassie's be introduced to her uncles before the girl went out of the house. When Daniel grew weary and drowsy, Jack warmed lotion in his hands and massaged it into the dry , fragile skin of Daniel's feet, hands, and back.

Jack knew there was little time left. Daniel no longer ate and only took in a small amount of water Jack dripped into his mouth from a straw. Talking seemed to take too much effort for him. Once in awhile, when Jack spoke, Daniel responded in languages Jack didn't recognize. He recognized a few words of Abydonian-Sha're and love and home. When Daniel slept, Jack held his head in his hands and let silent tears fall.

"I'm sorry," Daniel said one day as the sun was just dipping below the horizon. He turned his head towards Jack and reached out his hand.

"Sorry? You didn't ask for this, Daniel," Jack said. He took Daniel's hand in his, moved his finger so he could seek out the weak pulse.

"Not that."

There was a long pause as if he'd fallen asleep again but then his fingers twitched into Jack's palm.

"I couldn't love you the way..." Daniel let the rest of the words go unspoken.

"It doesn't matter," Jack whispered and leaned close. "Never think that I valued your friendship any less. We've loved each other every way that matters."

A small smile graced Daniel's lips and he nodded. He closed his fingers around Jack's. " Someday I hope you find him." He was quiet a long time before he spoke again. I'm so tired."

"Then rest." Jack kissed his forehead and gently squeezed Daniel's hand. "I'll be here."

Daniel's breathing changed over the next hours. There was long pauses between inhalations, almost as if Daniel's body was slowly forgetting the importance of oxygen. Nurses came in and out of the room, checking on both of them, although Jack believed their presence might have been meant more for him than for Daniel. Sister Thomas opened the doors to the patio and Jack fell asleep to the sound of waves.

*****

"Jack?"

He opened his eyes to see one of the nurses, Sister Cecilia, he remembered, standing by Daniel's bed.

His mouth went dry, his heart began to pound as if he'd been running. He didn't need her to say a word. He stood up and leaned over the bed. Daniel looked at peace-trite and cliche, but true nonetheless. His mouth was turned up in one of his familiar half-smiles, the kind that always made Jack think of hidden secrets. Jack touched his face, brushed back hair from his forehead.

"There is no hurry," Sister Cecilia said. "You can take as much time as you need."

"He was my best friend,," Jack said. He didn't know why, just that it seemed important for her to know.

"Yes," she said. "I understand."

*****

Carter and Teal'c arrived with the dawn, less than an hour after Jack's awakening. Jack wondered if in the course of the way the universe worked, Daniel had been holding on for them even though he hadn't quite made it. It wouldn't have surprised him in the least.

"Was it...did he..." Carter stumbled over the words, her face blotchy.

"Peaceful," Jack assured her. He didn't know the exact moment himself, hadn't sensed it although he thought he would. "Things just stopped."

She nodded and wrapped her hand around Daniel's. She rested her head on his unmoving chest and cried.

Teal'c knelt by Daniel's bed, his hands on Daniel's head. He spoke in low tones. Jack was unsure of what was being said, but it felt like a benediction, a prayer and filled the room with calm.

There were things to do, most of which had been pre-arranged by Daniel. But for now, Jack stood by his friends and allowed himself to mourn.

*****

The Gateroom was packed for Doctor Jackson's memorial service. Even the few occupants of the infirmary had asked permission to be present. Carolyn hadn't been able to deny them. Their injuries weren't severe and she stood by Colonel Ferretti and Major Reynolds in their wheelchairs as they listened to the various members of SG-1 speak of their teammate.

She knew the words weren't enough, wouldn't ever convey what Daniel had meant to them, to the SGC. She didn't bother to wipe her eyes as tears ran freely down her face.

General O'Neill took his place at the podium. He looked as if he'd aged ten years since she'd given him the letter and address a few short weeks ago. He smoothed a paper on the wooden stand and then looked out at the audience.

"Daniel Jack..." He cleared his throat. He looked at the paper again. "Daniel J..."

  
Even from her vantage point, Carolyn could see the tears in his eyes.

"He was my best friend," the general finally managed to say before shaking his head. Teal'c stepped forward and turned him away from the audience and then Colonel Carter joined him. The three stood in a small huddle, a tight, private embrace that Carolyn felt she shouldn't witness.

Mitchell and Vala stepped close and she could see Mitchell talking. Finally General O'Neill nodded and Gate began to spin. The chevrons locked in an address that she recognized, one she'd learned from her orientation to the SGC-Abydos. She was surprised. She'd thought Abydos no longer existed, a world destroyed in an epic battle she'd heard rumors about. But the wormhole formed with a whoosh that never failed to amaze Carolyn-a sight she rarely got to witness.

General O'Neill stepped up to the blue puddle along with Colonel Carter and Teal'c and scattered Daniel's ashes to the desert world. The event horizon shimmered until the blue turned almost white. She glanced away when the light hurt her eyes and then looked down at Ferretti who had made an odd sound. He was smiling and crying at the same time.

"Way to go, Doc," he whispered. "Way to go."

  
*****

"You shouldn't have done this, Charlie," Jack said. "You either, Rothman."

Rothman shrugged while Kawalsky just grinned at Jack. "It's what you've wanted isn't it?"

Jack looked at the device in his hand and then at the quantum mirror. He'd given himself a year after Daniel's death. The pain was gone-his friend was at peace after all. But Daniel's last words had haunted him. This Daniel had never been his, only Sha're's. Jack hadn't been jealous. He'd understood and accepted their friendship for the only thing it could ever be. But he held onto hope that maybe, just maybe out there, there was another Daniel. Not one to replace the beloved friend he'd lost, but one who was searching for the other half of his soul just as Jack was.

"Good luck, sir," Rothman said and held out his hand. Jack shook it, surprised by the gesture.

"I've left letters in my quarters for everyone," Jack said to Kawalsky, "including the ones that are gonna get your asses out of this." He gave a tight smile.

"We're gonna miss you, Jack," Charlie said and then pulled him into a rough hug. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

Jack didn't know if he would. He only hoped the journey would be half as amazing as the one he'd shared with Daniel. He waited until Kawalsky and Rothman left the storage room. He took a deep breath and dialed. Another storage room appeared. A man sat in a corner, his back to the mirror, his head bent over some other device. Jack took a deep breath and reached out to touch the surface of the mirror.


End file.
